Metro, #ICan’tEven

I want to apologize for my last post.  Not for what I wrote, but how I wrote it.  I paid little attention to grammar and punctuation because I was having a rush of feelings moment and needed to get it out before I decided to keep it all in.  Thank you for the kind words and reading through all the errors to see the point.  I appreciate it.

***Back to original programming***

I totally have a tattoo on the back of my arm that states “#ICan’t…EVEN.”  This is a ridiculous tattoo, I know, but I don’t regret it at all.  It’s helpful when my students say things that are so space-cadet-ish because I can just point at the back of my arm and not have to say anything else.

The metro happened to be the last person that not only got the #ICan’t…EVEN” tattoo, but also some choice words.  Let me preface this with the fact that last Saturday night I called the  bank and reported that someone had used my debit card and my account needed to be frozen.  I was really surprised the bank didn’t catch it because they normally do. The next day, I went through all of my emails and transactions and found that NO ONE had stolen my card number, I FORGOT that I bought something.  No surprise there – I forget things constantly.  I make lists to remember my lists.

Anyways, my account got unfrozen (thanks bank people) but my card was deactivated and they had already sent me a new one (which has not reached me yet).  I was fairly sure that I had money on my metro card (around $30), and I had transferred money from one account to another account with a working card.  I get in line to leave the parking lot of the Greenbelt Metro and swipe my card.  Denied.  I swipe another card. Denied. I pull up a bit further and swipe my metro card. Insufficient funds. I look next to me and of course the woman to my left can’t get hers to work either.  There are around 15 cars behind me. No kidding.

I push the help button. The Wizard of WMATA comes over the screen, or at least half of his face does – from around his note up to the top of his head.  I explain my problems and he tells me I have to back out and go put money on my card.  I explain that there is money on my card but its not working. He says I need to come back to the station and get it checked out.  I explain that I know I have money on all of my cards and that this kiosk and the one next to it are not working.  He tells me to back up.  And TURNS. OFF. THE. SCREEN.  I’m mortified.  I push the button again. The Wizard comes back. Now, I can see more of his face. He immediately tells me I need to go back to the station.  I explain that the 15 cars behind me are now yelling, honking, and angry and that I am on the verge of crying so could he just open the little gate and let me out. I even offered my address so he could send me a personalized bill for $5.10.  He hangs up on me. So, I put on my back up lights and the honking continues.  Finally someone moves so I can get out.

I go park in an empty spot.  I call Tay and explain the situation.  She checks the bank accounts and tells me to move some money from her account to mine to see if that makes it work (we thought maybe there is an amount that HAS to be on the card for it to work).  I shuffle things around. I pull back in line.  Swipe one card – Denied.  Swipe metro card – Insufficient.  I push the button again and there’s that magical Wizard of WMATA.  HIS WHOLE FACE THIS TIME. How fortunate am I?! I? I explain that I have money on both my metro card and in my bank account and again that the kiosks are broken as there is another woman next to me screaming into the speaker box.  He tells me to read the card numbers to him on my metro card. I do and he tells me that I have $2.10.  I laugh and said “what about the other $23 on my card?” He tells me those are for benefits on the rail and bus routes – NOT parking.”

At this point, I’m almost in tears.  I’m trying to put money on my card through the website and it’s not working – warning me that someone is trying to hack me.  My bank account shows money is available.  I ask him to please just let me out, because the line behind me is super long.  He tells me a simple no, and stares in the screen at me.  I can’t remember exactly what I said, but it had expletives in it and I guess the woman behind me heard because she came up and swiped her metro card and said some things to the man on the screen and told me to head on home.

To you, ma’am – you made my evening so much better than it was heading.  To the metro….the back of my arm salutes you because honestly, I can’t even.

***After this was written….***

I drove into the parking lot at the metro station this morning, unhindered by any of those gate arms that drop in front of your car.  Know why? BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE COULDN’T EVEN EITHER AND THEY BROKE THE ARMS! HAHAHA I WIN.


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